The Confidential Ear (Personal Life Coaching) in honor of Valentine’s Day will offer ONE FREE Session to a first-time client during the month of February. Call for your FREE no obligation appointment located in Avalon Park at: 407-243-2617. Toni L. Kusiak, MS/Psy.
Let me share an article published in Psych Central by Gerald Schoenewolf, PhD.
On Valentine’s Day people often bend over backwards to show how much they love their loved ones. This can cost a lot of money. There are men or women who take their spouses to expensive candlelight restaurants, surprise them with expensive trips to Paris, buy them extravagant flowers, chocolates or perfumes. There’s nothing wrong with that. But if you really want to show your love, make or do something for her with your own two hands (or two ears or two lips or one heart) and she will most likely be even more impressed. And this kind of gift may end up being therapeutic as well.
Below is suggestion for heartfelt and free Valentine’s Day gifts.
1. An Hour of Empathic Listening. Who doesn’t like to be listened to? Most couples have things that they don’t want to talk about, and it is often the case the one member or another feels frustrated that they aren’t being listened to or truly heard. So, make a coupon stating, “FREE LISTENING. Upon presentation by my darling this coupon entitles him/her to one hour of listening to anything you want to say without interruption. HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY.” Your partner will not only appreciate this gift, but it will have therapeutic effect on your relationship going forward.
2. Slave-for-a-Day. To show your love, offer to be his/her slave for a day. Make up a coupon saying, “FREE SLAVE FOR A DAY. The coupon entitles my beloved to have a devoted slave for a day. Your wish will be my command on this day to show how much I love and cherish you. HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY.” Then be prepared to play the submissive slave to the hilt, wearing a special red Valentine’s uniform, for a day he/she will long remember. And, as an added bonus, the fact that you are willing to humble yourself for your love says “I love you” in a way nothing else does.
3. Bubble Bath and Massage. Your spouse or lover comes home from work and sees a sign on the door. “Happy Valentine’s Day, my dear. Put down your things and head for the bathroom for your first surprise.” In the bathroom a bubble bath is waiting. He/she undresses and lies in the tub and then you appear, wearing white salon uniform, and proceed to give a luxurious bubble bath. Afterwards, you thoroughly dry your loved one and then lead him to the bedroom, where you lavish him/her with a wondrous massage. What happens after that is up to the two of you. This will be sure to bring a new glow to your relationship.
4. Book of Love. Make your spouse or loved one a book of love. You can use whatever paper you have at home (thick paper for the cover, typing paper for inside, stapled together) or you can buy a blank book at a stationary store. Inside, write and illustrate all the reasons why you love him/her. Get fancy and fill it with poems, drawings, anecdotes, and pictures to tell your story. If you prefer, you can use love poems from our favorite poets, such as Browning’s “How Do I Love Thee, Let Me Count the Ways.” He/she will be very pleased that you made this especially for him/her and will be sure to cherish it for a long time.
5. Valentine’s Day Serenade. Whether your musical ability is great or not so great, your loved one will appreciate a special Valentine’s Serenade. Decorate one room with a little corner stage, and one nice audience chair in front of the stage. “This is my special serenade for you on Valentine’s Day,” you say, sitting him/her down. Then you take a seat on stage and sing (and perhaps accompany yourself with an instrument or some recorded background music) a medley of song especially for the occasion. You may even write one yourself. It doesn’t have to be a top ten hit; it will be very cute because you have done it for your sweetheart.
6. Special Valentine’s Dinner. Instead of going out for dinner, surprise him/her by preparing your sweetheart’s favorite meal. Your partner comes home from work, thinking you’ve forgotten all about Valentine’s Day, and then sees a sign, “Happy Valentine’s Day, Darling. Relax, take off your coat, and head for the dining room for your special dinner.” The dining room the table is a covered by a white table cloth, candles, champagne, the best china, and there’s a seat at the end of the table, with a small gift sitting on the plate. The gift could be whatever you like, a piece of chocolate, a jewel, a tie clip, a jack-in-the-box that sings, “I love you,” or it could just be a rose lying on the plate. You come out wearing a Valentine’s Day apron and say, “Happy Valentine’s Day, my dear, I’ll be your special waiter (waitress) for this special night I will be serving your favorite dinner. Sit back, my dearest, and relax. Let me pour your champagne.”
7. A Valentine’s Day Sexual Treat. It is often the case that one member of a couple has expressed dissatisfaction, hurt, frustration or even anger, that the other partner won’t engage in a certain kind of sexual act. On this day, when the loved one comes home from work, you greet them at the door with a glass of their favorite wine or champagne and coo, “Happy Valentine’s Day, dearest.” You lead them to the bedroom (or whatever room’s appropriate), undress them and proceed to perform the sexual act or fantasy they have always craved. Your partner will of course be surprised, stunned, delighted. Nothing will show your love more than that, and your relationship will most likely soar to a new level of well-being and trust.
Gifts to which you have put thought, effort, and preparation time (rather than money) will have a lasting impact and maybe even a healing effect.